


Honesty

by Natterina



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-14
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-04-20 19:46:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4800017
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Natterina/pseuds/Natterina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Solas reveals the truth to Lavellan in the cove, only to be rejected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Honesty

“ _Wolf_.”

She spits it at him like an insult, as twisted as the delicate trust he had placed in her. It is as bitter as the love that beats in his chest.

He should have known.

Whether her hatred is the result of the deception, or because of the simple fact of who he is, she never gave him the chance to ask. Lavellan had left Solas in the clearing, stunned and half-cracked as she stormed off teary eyed and bare-faced. He had opened his heart to her, told her the truth at the risk of everything he had worked towards, and the proud Dalish elf had responded with tears and the heavy beating of an eagle owl’s wings as she flew off.

Solas felt only slightly better when he returned to Skyhold and realised she had at least kept quiet. No one appeared to look at him any differently, and Varric greeted him with his usual  _hey chuckles_.

But when he tries to gain access to the Inquisitor’s quarters, to find out where they stand because  _this can still be salvaged, it does not have to end like this_ , she greets him with the insult and it hits him with all the force of a slap to the face.

He inwardly reels back, uncertain and unsure of how to proceed. He has been rejected and forced to leave by dozens of Dalish keepers on account of the information he had shared, but he had never divulged his true identity and Lavellan herself had always taken his word on the ancient elves as truth.

This he has no idea how to fix.

“Please, vhenan.”

She turns to him fully then, cheeks stained with tears and scratch marks where she has examined her face for any trace of the missing vallaslin.

“Get  _out_.” Her tone is weaker now, cracking at the edges with despair. Solas can almost hear the gaping hole in her chest at the sound.

Part of him is inflamed. How dare she judge him, how dare she throw his honesty back in his face when she is young,  _naïve_ with no idea how life truly was like in the spiral city of Arlathan? The injustice of it all, then and now. How dare she refuse to even listen to him, to listen to the truths she had once worshipped when they left his lips?

“Vhenan, you are being unreasonable.”

Her cackle is broken.

“ _I’m being unreasonable?_ Rich words from the millennia-old elven god!”

“What should I have done? We were never gods, and had I told you from the beginning, you would not have believed me.”

“You don’t know that, because you never gave me the chance.” She takes a step towards him; at the look in her eyes he takes one back. “You have  _lied_ to me from the beginning, you deceived me regarding your origins and you have manipulated the _Inquisition_ as a means of getting this strange orb back. It is not your identity which has angered me, but your _lies_. You have revealed to me the truth of your identity and instead of my justified anger at you living up to your  _trickster_ name,  _you expect me to be grateful you told me at all?_ ”

Lavellan is hysterical, her voice raising several octaves as she speaks until she all but screeches the final part of her speech at him.

There is a part of Solas that knows he should be apologetic, even if her view is slightly skewed, but he feels far too indignant to listen to it. He is angry and hurt at her refusal to listen: does she not realise how lonely his life had been? How much trust and love it had taken to tell the truth to her, to trust her with the information he had kept hidden ever since he had awoken?

Solas clenches his jaw, face straight and unapologetic. Lavellan looks at it and turns from him, hiding her face in her hands as she twists her face in anger. Her teeth grind at the back of her mouth in frustration, in anger.

They stand in silence for what seems like an eternity, refusing to look at each other whilst the only sound is Lavellan’s sniffling. He dare not touch her. Eventually, he breaks the silence.

“I will stay with the Inquisition until Corypheus has been defeated. If you wish, I will stay no longer.” His voice is flat, emotionless, cut off. Lavellan looks at him once more, and  _there_ , he sees the brief flash of  _no, please don’t leave_  cross her broken face before she hardens her heart and narrows her eyes at him.

“That would be best.” For a moment he thinks she will reach out, move closer to touch him and then they can truly talk this out properly. The air is tense, hovering on a knife-point and Solas knows this could end one of two very different ways. He is holding his breath in a fiery room and only she can extinguish the flames. But then the moment disappears; Lavellan turns to her desk and motions for him to leave.

Solas does as he is bid and leaves her alone, with her hands gripping the desk tightly and her chest concaving with the pain of her breaking heart.

He is unfortunate enough to hear the keening sob that breaks through her lips as he closes the door.


End file.
